Will Someone Help This Young Girl....
Dear BasTorah,
I read your blog daily and always wait for a new one. I cannot wait to read your wisdom and truthful words. I was wondering if you can help me.
I am a young wife and new mother. I am married for a few years, and have a baby and a two year old. I have my hands full with the baby, toddler and working part-time. My husband is very understanding and caring. He works hard at his job and at home. He is a hands-on dad. He helps me out a lot, I really cannot complain.
You might think I live the perfect lifestyle. Great husband. A great part-time job. Financially stable. What more can I ask for? The problem is that I am depressed. I do not know what makes me depressed. I sometimes get into these weird moods where I just shut my husband out and go sulk. I just go and read my books and then go to bed, barely talking to him if I don’t have to. If I have to, it is just short words and not full sentences. These moods tend to come and go and I am not sure what makes them tick.
I am on the mini-pill as I am still partially nursing my baby. I don’t feel that I am ready to have another baby yet until I figure out these mood swings. It is not like I do not love my husband or my family, I just don’t feel myself. I feel very lonely and don’t have anyone to turn to. I am turning to you BT and to your readers to know if anyone has felt this way.
I cannot say this is depression that Brooke Shields has taken medicine for. I assume what I have is depression, though I am not sure of it. I really don’t want to take meds for it as I think it can be taken care of without them. Please post this letter and I hope your readers will respond.
Please sign it,
Yours truly,
A depressed wife and mother
I read your blog daily and always wait for a new one. I cannot wait to read your wisdom and truthful words. I was wondering if you can help me.
I am a young wife and new mother. I am married for a few years, and have a baby and a two year old. I have my hands full with the baby, toddler and working part-time. My husband is very understanding and caring. He works hard at his job and at home. He is a hands-on dad. He helps me out a lot, I really cannot complain.
You might think I live the perfect lifestyle. Great husband. A great part-time job. Financially stable. What more can I ask for? The problem is that I am depressed. I do not know what makes me depressed. I sometimes get into these weird moods where I just shut my husband out and go sulk. I just go and read my books and then go to bed, barely talking to him if I don’t have to. If I have to, it is just short words and not full sentences. These moods tend to come and go and I am not sure what makes them tick.
I am on the mini-pill as I am still partially nursing my baby. I don’t feel that I am ready to have another baby yet until I figure out these mood swings. It is not like I do not love my husband or my family, I just don’t feel myself. I feel very lonely and don’t have anyone to turn to. I am turning to you BT and to your readers to know if anyone has felt this way.
I cannot say this is depression that Brooke Shields has taken medicine for. I assume what I have is depression, though I am not sure of it. I really don’t want to take meds for it as I think it can be taken care of without them. Please post this letter and I hope your readers will respond.
Please sign it,
Yours truly,
A depressed wife and mother
posted by BasTorah at Thursday, July 07, 2005
9 Comments:
ok bassy, how you gonna get out of this one?
Not so sure what you mean by that Kvetch,
but I am hoping that the females reading this can answer her.
Also it is a reality check for you men...maybe you don't realize that your wife is depressed...go help her...
Let's hear the comments
Why not go to a doctor who can diganose this properly. Please take care of yourself before it gets out of hand and will bring you down. Please don't think that it will take care by itself. It is not true. MANY people thaught that it will take care of itself, but in the end they end up in the hospital and damaged for life.
If you will take meds now, you won't need them later. But if you ignore it now you will need them later but then it may be too late.
I just wanna say , the mini pill can affect your mood. I took it and also felt very down. (I also stained on it -which caused me to go off it, and I did within about 2 weeks start feeling better)You have to also realize that having a new baby at home is really tough(understatement of the century) and the overwhelming feeling of having to juggle, family, husband and job might also be triggering this downer. Then of course there is the possiblity that you might be experiencing a bit of ppd- post partum depression. My advice, ask your doctor about switching your pill- It might be a wise idea to go on regular birth control and give up the nursing. I know its a hard call, but YOU MUST put yourself first. Plus, nursing can be stressful as well. I guess to sum up what im saying is that you must recognize stressful triggers in your life and try to avoid or get around them as best you can. Id do these things first before calling a therapist.
My wife and I were in a similar situation. She suffered from post pardon depression. I did not want her to be on any medication for it, she stopped nursing, we took a long weekend vacation without the baby, and I made sure to give her a few hours a week so she could have time for herself go out with friends get her nails done. It made a big difference. If you have any questions you could email me at U_R_G_8@yahoo.com
IF you would be willing to take an aspirin for a headache, you should be willing, lulei demistafina, to take a Prozac for depression.
Obviously, it all needs to be under a doctor's supervision.
There is a terrific book by Rabbi Josh Mark, called Returning To Joy, about being frum and being depressed and what you can do about it.
http://www.targum.com/store/Mark.html
(No, lulei demistafina, I don't get a commission. sheesh!)
I have never yet posted on a reply to a blog - (as far as I remember) but HAD to now!! I felt very similar - when taking the pill after a miscarriage --- I remember sitting on my bed and trying to literally force myself to smile, or to think positive thoughts - and all I felt was as if I was looking through "black colored glasses" that I had no power to take off...
I called my midwife and told her I suspect that it might have to do - she said "stop right away" (when I had complained earlier that its making me gain weight she just sorta said TOO BAD - you gotta stay on it - you can't get pregnant now) 2 days after I stopped taking it - I was back to my positive old self - and my husband (and life!) seemed better than ever! NOTE: There is an alternative and I use it 'til today - inserts (Encare brand, use 2!) Anyway - good luck to you, hope it gets better for you very soon!
Don't listen to that last loser whatever you do. I realize that Im single and pretty young. But I know enough to tell you that if you mess up your marriage it will only make your depression worse..
you have post pardum depression..exremely common..talk to obgyn and possibly phychiatrist. anyone who says that you should try to beat it yourself and not to take meds is a fool
feel free to ask...man0518@gmail.com
good luck..you will be fine
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