I've Hit My Prime and He is Sleeping
I am a married mid-thirty year old wife. My friends told me that these are my years to enjoy bedroom life. I didn’t believe them until recently. I am very much anxious to have sex. And to have as often as I can. I have a problem. My husband is not interested. He responds only when I go into bed next to him, he then gets the hint and complies. Yes he enjoys it, but he doesn’t initiate. He is a little bit older than I am.
I am so tired of initiating because he doesn’t seem interested in the beginning. I am so horny that when I look at any male, I want him in my bed. I don’t know what to do.
I am asking your men and women readers to please help me with this problem. Are there others out there like me?
Oh, before I forget. I give him oral, but he is afraid to “spill his seed” even though he likes it a lot. He wont reciprocate. He says it is not allowed. And gets nervous when I ask because he thinks I am becoming less frum. He is a very quiet person as well, and doesn’t think it is tzniusdik to talk about our problem with each other.
Please HELP!
posted by BasTorah at Wednesday, July 27, 2005
13 Comments:
Email me your phone number and I'll show you a good time lakewoodlust@yahoo.com
FoncusedYid, I am rolling for laughter. You have put it so accurately and filled with humor.
FoncusedYid, zicher red ich yiddish. Interesting look at the post "why is it so hard to say", it is probabely a yungerman in his twenties. Wait a few years and you will see his wife writing "I've hit my prime and he is sleeping"...
foncused, Here is the way I see it. It's actually not how I see it, it's how most sex therapists see it. "Communication." Spouses don't communicate in this subject, openly. There is nothing wrong with that, because most people are like that and that's why there are sex therapists. In most cases the only thing they do is they communicate between the spouses. The same goes for this post and for the previous post. Communicate. Let your spouse know whay s/he does or doesn't do and what s/he should or shouldn't do.
I would just like to ask Bas Torah a question, or really anyone here who would like to answer seriously.
I'm not sure who to ask this to really or how to ask. I am a 21 year old girl and i have been datang this guy seriosuly and things seem to be going very well. I guess this may be natural but I have beenthinking about sexualness. I have been shomer negiah my whole life, and am excited and somewhat overwhelmed at the thouht of immediate sexual activity. Also, in erms of expectations. Bluntly speaking, he has some idea what to expect because it's not like women can hide their chests completely, he does have some idea about form atleast. I however, am not so sure what to expect about him and what he has to give. And I am not sure if kallah clases cover these topics. Is there a Jewish way to sex? I'm talking about issues of intimacy, foreplay, an undressing after the wedding. I'm not sure if this came out the way I wanted it to, but I think i see where I am coming from. thank you, and i really enjoy bot of your blogs.
I think first get married. Intimacy in the beginning will be at an all time high, especially if you were shomer negiah. The problems start to arise later when things seem to be settled, boring and regular. Therefore, don't worry about your intimacy in the mean time. I can just tell you this, in the beginning you are really going to enjoy it.
What you need to remember for the future, when things will settle, especially when you will get pregnant, have a baby, then another and then another. Your hormones will not be at the same level as they are right now. Throughout your life the levels will fluctuate and you will not be into intimacy as you are right now. That is where education comes in. You have to understand how to keep your relationship and your intimacy well. It is not automatic. Just because you are in love with him right now, it doesn't mean you will feel that way all the time. Again, there is nothing wrong with that, it's human nature. And part of the education is that there must be communication between spouses, on all subjects, including sexuality. Remember, your future husband's hormones are also fluctuating, they will not stay constant. This is where his education comes in. He needs to be educated as well. He will have to understand you and you will have to understand him.
Learn to understand each other and learn to love each other. Love is not in beauty and not in wisdom. Proff: look at all the celebrities, they are considred beuaties, but they can't stay in a relationship. To love each other means, first you have to "want" to love each other even when times don't seem that great. Second, you have to learn how to overcome those times.
The key that helped me get through the most dificult time was Rabbi Akiva's explenation of Vahavta Leraiacha Komocha, do upon your friend what you want be done to you.
In the most difficult times, when I was ready to give up or when I thaught the now is the time to show my spouse a lesson, I went this was my guide. As a result, I NEVER insulted my spouse and NEVER did anything that was meant to be and insult or hardship. I can say this: after many years of marriage, my love life only gets better by the day. Last month I did not think that it can be better, this how good it was, but this month I see that it is even better than last month. And so it goes.
The way to look at is like a graph of the DOW JONES. The goal of the index is rise, constantely. That does not mean that it does not go down. But it started at 0 and now it is above 10,000. This is how a marriage should work. The wedding is the 0 point and from there it should go up. One day it may gain the other day it may lose. When it's loosing it always bad, but that's life. But never should it go into the negative that is below 0. This when people end up divorcing.
I wish you lots of mazal and bracha. Take it easy, because for now it would be easy. Remember, life is an educational experience, always study on how to make it better. Shalom
FoncusedYid, Why do you say that?
I'm a 36 y.o. male and I wish just wish that my wife would ever initiate anything. Instead its just me asking every few days and occasionally getting something.
And Id love to spill my seed for oral but my wife is terrible at it and it just bores me. I dont know how its supposed to be but this doesnt seem like it.
Do you love her outside the bedroom too? How is your relationship with her in general? Have had any real discussions with your wife about it?
anonymous, it sounds like she's too tired at night. Get together during the day.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/23/health/23case.html
I thought of you when I read this this morning.
Not that I think this could be the cause of your lack of action in the bedroom. I obviously don't know enough about your particular situation. But I do wonder how many women face this problem after childbirth and their husbands are too ashamed to talk about it with them, so they suffer feeling unwanted and unattractive. Any experiences anybody?
The W-4 form is an Interest rates (IRS) kind and as generally IRS forms people may get confused on the way to complete these individuals. This means that you will sometimes be on a in the instance of unsecured loans for the higher side. Credit seekers with a good credit rating typically pay in, become true that the education loans involving bad credit payday cash loans. instant payday loans Here, you can go to us and find applied for instant cash for me loan?
Should you get involved necessity of a really loan generally, you should investigate finding specified personal fiscal guidance. These kinds of Personal Loans are offered by finance institutions and also by all financial physiques? Being 18 years of age is a very important qualification for this facility? instant payday loans They can be finances which can be meant for people that have poor credit reviews.
Post a Comment
<< Home